I'm probably also foolish to think so...
Am I really right?
Could I be wrong?
Most likely...
Just because someone is loud, doesn't mean they are right...
Just because someone is persistent, doesn't mean they are right...
Just because some things are repeated, doesn't mean they are right...
What then is right?
"Every way of a man is right in his own eyes,
But the Lord weighs the heart"
- Proverbs 21:2 -
Better to be wrong, then to have a proud heart.
Wednesday, 3 February 2016
Tuesday, 2 February 2016
To experience a God who can heal...
The last post, I wrote about God as my carpenter who fix broken vessels... The idea of God as a healer is not a foreign concept... Flip open the Bible, and you can read it everywhere.
Then I asked myself: "Why does it takes so long for me to realise that?"
To pray for others and believe for healing takes faith.
But to know and experience God as my personal healer takes more faith...
Or harder still, is to humble myself and realise that I need healing.
That one touch is all it takes to make me want more of God.
Humility is not low self-esteem.
Humility is realizing that I couldn't on my own, and I need to depend on others.
Then I asked myself: "Why does it takes so long for me to realise that?"
To pray for others and believe for healing takes faith.
But to know and experience God as my personal healer takes more faith...
Or harder still, is to humble myself and realise that I need healing.
That one touch is all it takes to make me want more of God.
Humility is not low self-esteem.
Humility is realizing that I couldn't on my own, and I need to depend on others.
Friday, 29 January 2016
Broken Vessels
"Why is my Christian life constantly on a roller coaster?"
This has been a question I have constantly been looking for answers... One moment, I'm this faith-filled Christian who trust God. On other moment, I can question and doubt if God is really present in my life.
“But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor. Therefore if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work.”
II Timothy 2:20-21
As Christians, the Bible liken our lives as vessels which should be used for honor.
Ps. Andy Harrison at Planetshakers Awakening taught us that as vessels (or containers), we are created for the purpose of carrying the presence of God... If the container is filled with other stuffs, it loses it's original purpose. And sometimes, this container can be broken. And he ended the session reminding us that our savior Jesus Christ was once a carpenter and he can fix broken vessels.
Today (during the worship and prayer time), I came to realize that my vessel has many cracks on them, and it's contantly leak out stuff. And this vessel need to be fixed quickly. As a tumbler which is leaking, it annoys its user and causes much frustration and could even lead to anger (if it wets some important document).
In church, I can be filled with the presence of God... But because the vessel is leaking, it's easy to be frustrated and angry at little things which come my way. And down the road, the vessel unknowingly is carrying anger, frustration, insecurities and fears which was initially supposed to carry the presence of God. But on Sunday, the vessel is reset to its original purposes... I confess my sin, and God's presence fill me again... And not too long later, the whole cycle repeat itself and the leaking gets worse.
Frustrating. Draining.
And the solution is to come to the best carpenter Himself. He touched me, He patched up the holes, He filled-in the cracks... And when the vessel is fixed, He fill it with His presence.
And this vessel has been restored. It can be used effectively again.
God is the ultimate restorer of my life!
This has been a question I have constantly been looking for answers... One moment, I'm this faith-filled Christian who trust God. On other moment, I can question and doubt if God is really present in my life.
“But in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay, some for honor and some for dishonor. Therefore if anyone cleanses himself from the latter, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified and useful for the Master, prepared for every good work.”
II Timothy 2:20-21
As Christians, the Bible liken our lives as vessels which should be used for honor.
Ps. Andy Harrison at Planetshakers Awakening taught us that as vessels (or containers), we are created for the purpose of carrying the presence of God... If the container is filled with other stuffs, it loses it's original purpose. And sometimes, this container can be broken. And he ended the session reminding us that our savior Jesus Christ was once a carpenter and he can fix broken vessels.
Today (during the worship and prayer time), I came to realize that my vessel has many cracks on them, and it's contantly leak out stuff. And this vessel need to be fixed quickly. As a tumbler which is leaking, it annoys its user and causes much frustration and could even lead to anger (if it wets some important document).
In church, I can be filled with the presence of God... But because the vessel is leaking, it's easy to be frustrated and angry at little things which come my way. And down the road, the vessel unknowingly is carrying anger, frustration, insecurities and fears which was initially supposed to carry the presence of God. But on Sunday, the vessel is reset to its original purposes... I confess my sin, and God's presence fill me again... And not too long later, the whole cycle repeat itself and the leaking gets worse.
Frustrating. Draining.
And the solution is to come to the best carpenter Himself. He touched me, He patched up the holes, He filled-in the cracks... And when the vessel is fixed, He fill it with His presence.
And this vessel has been restored. It can be used effectively again.
God is the ultimate restorer of my life!
Tuesday, 29 December 2015
2015 - How are you? (Part 2)
Part 1 is about the better days, but there were also days when I'm at my lowest... Can anything good come out from that?
In the down...
After the tears, after the days of not being able to get out of bed, after shutting myself in darkness, what is next? I couldn't hide here forever... Though it is more comfortable being alone, there are expectations out there. People! Yes, lots of people with different opinion, different intention, and different expectation around. Some meant well, many others only wanted things done.
When that slight moment of courage come, I kicked myself out of bed. I rushed for a long shower (Yes, those are little achievements for me). I say a little prayer, I sing a little worship song, I try.
Then I realise...
Lesson #2 - When something is scarce, it becomes precious.
As a child, I kept the best food for last... Like the egg in a packet of nasi leak.
I savour the last few mouth of my ice cream much slower than the first few.
I munch much slower when it is the last piece of biscuit in the pack.
When there is little to look forward to, I realise how precious God is. When there is no more achievement to boast about, when the future is dim, it hits me that I need to cling on tighter to God. God became more precious, He became someone I could not afford to lose. It may still be silent, but I could not let go of Him. I became desperately dependant on God.
Desperate - Yes, I am...
Dependant - I couldn't on my own.
In the down...
After the tears, after the days of not being able to get out of bed, after shutting myself in darkness, what is next? I couldn't hide here forever... Though it is more comfortable being alone, there are expectations out there. People! Yes, lots of people with different opinion, different intention, and different expectation around. Some meant well, many others only wanted things done.
When that slight moment of courage come, I kicked myself out of bed. I rushed for a long shower (Yes, those are little achievements for me). I say a little prayer, I sing a little worship song, I try.
Then I realise...
Lesson #2 - When something is scarce, it becomes precious.
As a child, I kept the best food for last... Like the egg in a packet of nasi leak.
I savour the last few mouth of my ice cream much slower than the first few.
I munch much slower when it is the last piece of biscuit in the pack.
When there is little to look forward to, I realise how precious God is. When there is no more achievement to boast about, when the future is dim, it hits me that I need to cling on tighter to God. God became more precious, He became someone I could not afford to lose. It may still be silent, but I could not let go of Him. I became desperately dependant on God.
Desperate - Yes, I am...
Dependant - I couldn't on my own.
Thursday, 24 December 2015
2015 - How are you? (Part 1)
Over the years, I realise 'How are you?' has turned into a greeting without really expecting an answer... When we ask 'How are you?", the standard answer would have been "Errr.. ok" or something similar... Probably we don't want to bore others with our sad story... Maybe, we have experienced people repeating their problems over and over again when we asked the question ("Not again! Arghh" - I'm guilty of that too), and "ok" seems like a better answer.
Is everyone really "ok"?
Personally, 2015 hasn't been anywhere close to "ok" for me...
It seems like I'm in a battle that doesn't seem to end... Trying, tried and probably on the verge of giving up.
Almost like a battle with an illness that doesn't seem to be able to get better... You prayed, you seen the doctor, you ate the medicine, you watch you diet... And there is a slight improvement, before it all start to go down hill again... Then you repeat the cycle: You prayed, you seen the doctor, you ate the medicine, you watch you diet. And there is a slight improvement, before it all start to go down hill again... And the cycle goes on over and over and over again...
Well, it's not always down... There were days that are happier, filled with more hope, with a sense of "Maybe I can make it in life"... Some days were faith, most others are probably a denial of the problem, and simply trying to escape. That's one very fine line in between. When is confessing the promises of God considered faith? And when is it then an escape from the reality?
But even a false sense of hope and happiness is better than a dark room with more gloom and doom. The former at least I can get out of bed and try to continue living.
Lesson #1 - Whenever there is a chance to laugh, laugh it out!
I value the days I can smile and laugh even at the smallest thing. I learn to set aside time to do things that I like, even if those things don't produce the result that the society would deem productive!
At times, "OK" is a better answer... At least, I need not explain myself... At least, it meant I'm still trying to live, trying to make it work.
Is everyone really "ok"?
Personally, 2015 hasn't been anywhere close to "ok" for me...
It seems like I'm in a battle that doesn't seem to end... Trying, tried and probably on the verge of giving up.
Almost like a battle with an illness that doesn't seem to be able to get better... You prayed, you seen the doctor, you ate the medicine, you watch you diet... And there is a slight improvement, before it all start to go down hill again... Then you repeat the cycle: You prayed, you seen the doctor, you ate the medicine, you watch you diet. And there is a slight improvement, before it all start to go down hill again... And the cycle goes on over and over and over again...
Well, it's not always down... There were days that are happier, filled with more hope, with a sense of "Maybe I can make it in life"... Some days were faith, most others are probably a denial of the problem, and simply trying to escape. That's one very fine line in between. When is confessing the promises of God considered faith? And when is it then an escape from the reality?
But even a false sense of hope and happiness is better than a dark room with more gloom and doom. The former at least I can get out of bed and try to continue living.
Lesson #1 - Whenever there is a chance to laugh, laugh it out!
I value the days I can smile and laugh even at the smallest thing. I learn to set aside time to do things that I like, even if those things don't produce the result that the society would deem productive!
At times, "OK" is a better answer... At least, I need not explain myself... At least, it meant I'm still trying to live, trying to make it work.
Friday, 5 September 2014
20 things
With the on going trend on Instagram, I shall come up with 20 facts about me (in no particular order:
1. I enjoy eating alone.
YES! Coffee and cake ALONE is actually one of my favorite past time.
2. I am very particular about alignments and formatting.
One of the reason I didn't post this on Instagram is because the iPhone Instagram app doesn't seem to allow me to 'next line' my sentences where ever I want it to be.
3. I drink approximately 500ml of plain water on a normal day.
Don't ask me how I manage to survive with that amount of water... I just do.
4. I drink A LOT of coffee.
I drink more coffee than water. My average day will have approximately 3-5 cups of coffee. My max will be 10 cups of Nescafe for assignments and exam season.
5. I am a latte drinker, and no sugar please.
If Starbucks: soy latte (because it sounds healthier)
6. I don't like berries.
Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and also passion fruit (doesn't fall in the category). Neither do I like jam.
7. I love stationery.
Colorful pens (Pilot's), Sharpies, ruler (I only like the plastic ones - half white, half see through), erasers (with half the plastic on so that it's only used from 1 side), stapler, scissors, post-it, liquid paper, cutter, highlighters, etc. And I bring my pencil box and notebook almost everywhere I go.
8. I like buying books.
But I don't finish reading most of them.
9. I love the sea and the sand.
10. I actually prefer tanned skin more than fair.
Never like sun block, and am too lazy to apply them.
11. I am a banana, and I'm proud of it.
I can't read and write Chinese, and I'm OK with that. No regrets not learning it...
Hmmm.... Maybe a little, only when I wish I can read sub titles to Cantonese drama series.
12.I love Excel and Powerpoint.
Just don't change my formatting :)
13. Hand sanitizer - A must have everywhere I go.
14. My favorite color is actually lime green. But for outfits, it's still black.
15. I love durian! And most local fruits.
Banana, honey dew, watermelon, guava, papaya. They are just sweeter.
16. I like bitter gourd.
17. I like soft toys with tiny bean like stuffing, and non-furry surface (silk-like material).
I am really bad at describing stuff, and I shall not try further.
18. I hate public speaking.
19. I love Running Man.
You can tell I'm getting lazy... 20 is a loooooong list...
20. I buy toothpaste based on the free gift they offer.
And the color of the tooth paste - green or blue gel like stuff.
1. I enjoy eating alone.
YES! Coffee and cake ALONE is actually one of my favorite past time.
2. I am very particular about alignments and formatting.
One of the reason I didn't post this on Instagram is because the iPhone Instagram app doesn't seem to allow me to 'next line' my sentences where ever I want it to be.
3. I drink approximately 500ml of plain water on a normal day.
Don't ask me how I manage to survive with that amount of water... I just do.
4. I drink A LOT of coffee.
I drink more coffee than water. My average day will have approximately 3-5 cups of coffee. My max will be 10 cups of Nescafe for assignments and exam season.
5. I am a latte drinker, and no sugar please.
If Starbucks: soy latte (because it sounds healthier)
6. I don't like berries.
Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and also passion fruit (doesn't fall in the category). Neither do I like jam.
7. I love stationery.
Colorful pens (Pilot's), Sharpies, ruler (I only like the plastic ones - half white, half see through), erasers (with half the plastic on so that it's only used from 1 side), stapler, scissors, post-it, liquid paper, cutter, highlighters, etc. And I bring my pencil box and notebook almost everywhere I go.
8. I like buying books.
But I don't finish reading most of them.
9. I love the sea and the sand.
10. I actually prefer tanned skin more than fair.
Never like sun block, and am too lazy to apply them.
11. I am a banana, and I'm proud of it.
I can't read and write Chinese, and I'm OK with that. No regrets not learning it...
Hmmm.... Maybe a little, only when I wish I can read sub titles to Cantonese drama series.
12.I love Excel and Powerpoint.
Just don't change my formatting :)
13. Hand sanitizer - A must have everywhere I go.
14. My favorite color is actually lime green. But for outfits, it's still black.
15. I love durian! And most local fruits.
Banana, honey dew, watermelon, guava, papaya. They are just sweeter.
16. I like bitter gourd.
17. I like soft toys with tiny bean like stuffing, and non-furry surface (silk-like material).
I am really bad at describing stuff, and I shall not try further.
18. I hate public speaking.
19. I love Running Man.
You can tell I'm getting lazy... 20 is a loooooong list...
20. I buy toothpaste based on the free gift they offer.
And the color of the tooth paste - green or blue gel like stuff.
Saturday, 30 August 2014
Is it wrong to not like music?
Or for that matter... "Must I like music?"
Over the years, I come to realize that most people generally have a preference for music types... Their favorite singer, their favorite band, or actors and actresses.
There are probably thousands more quotes about how people relate positively to music with the help of Mr. Google... But honestly, I don't quite get it...
I don't think I was born with music inside me...
Born in a typical Chinese family, learning piano is one of 'the thing'. But for me, I dreaded piano lessons when I was young and obviously I didn't do too well... Practicing an hour a day (which is the bare minimum) was a torture... I would go toilet as many times as I can... Take a break for as long as possible before my mum would nag me to continue practicing... I hated practicing scales, and the metronome is my number one enemy. Sight reading is a confirm failure for all my piano exam. The only thing which I did well in all my piano years was my theory exam (which don't really require any musicality). So yes, music is definitely not in me.
Then, there was the time of boy bands: Backstreet Boys, Westlife, N Sync, etc.
Well, I do have my preference... But looking back, do I honestly like their music? Or was it peer pressure to like a band? Or maybe in my case: simply cause the singer was cute? (Probably the same reason why I like some football players or actors... Shallow, I know... But I couldn't care less :P)
The thing that got me writing this post is actually a very common question: "What type of music do you like?"
My answer: "Anything". But probably the more accurate answer should be: "None... I don't really care". And I will usually get the 'confused' look from the other party. "How can you not like music?" Or maybe "You very holy hor... Don't listen music one."
Errr... So so wrong...
What has my faith (religion) got to do with the type of music that I listen to?
We have different hobbies and past times, different preference... But why is it I am questioned for not liking music? Can I then ask "How can you not like Excel?"
Isn't that prejudice towards a certain preference?
(Note: I am using the word 'prejudice' instead of 'discrimination' as it's just an attitude, and no negative action is involved.)
Just a thought: My lack of interest in music will probably get me a few weird stares, which over the years I learn to not care about. But how about those whose preferences may be a little more controversial?
Interest in tattoos and body piercings?
The different preference for sexual partners? Homosexuals?
Again, I'm not talking (writing actually) about whether it is right or wrong... But why discriminate? Who are we to judge others for their preference?
Over the years, I come to realize that most people generally have a preference for music types... Their favorite singer, their favorite band, or actors and actresses.
"I
was born with music inside me. Music was one of my parts. Like my ribs,
my kidneys, my liver, my heart. Like my blood. It was a force already
within me when I arrived on the scene. It was a necessity for me - like
food or water." - Ray Charles
And even the great Martin Luther has this to say about music:
Next to the Word of God, the noble art of music is the greatest treasure in the world.
I don't think I was born with music inside me...
Born in a typical Chinese family, learning piano is one of 'the thing'. But for me, I dreaded piano lessons when I was young and obviously I didn't do too well... Practicing an hour a day (which is the bare minimum) was a torture... I would go toilet as many times as I can... Take a break for as long as possible before my mum would nag me to continue practicing... I hated practicing scales, and the metronome is my number one enemy. Sight reading is a confirm failure for all my piano exam. The only thing which I did well in all my piano years was my theory exam (which don't really require any musicality). So yes, music is definitely not in me.
Then, there was the time of boy bands: Backstreet Boys, Westlife, N Sync, etc.
Well, I do have my preference... But looking back, do I honestly like their music? Or was it peer pressure to like a band? Or maybe in my case: simply cause the singer was cute? (Probably the same reason why I like some football players or actors... Shallow, I know... But I couldn't care less :P)
The thing that got me writing this post is actually a very common question: "What type of music do you like?"
My answer: "Anything". But probably the more accurate answer should be: "None... I don't really care". And I will usually get the 'confused' look from the other party. "How can you not like music?" Or maybe "You very holy hor... Don't listen music one."
Errr... So so wrong...
What has my faith (religion) got to do with the type of music that I listen to?
We have different hobbies and past times, different preference... But why is it I am questioned for not liking music? Can I then ask "How can you not like Excel?"
Isn't that prejudice towards a certain preference?
(Note: I am using the word 'prejudice' instead of 'discrimination' as it's just an attitude, and no negative action is involved.)
Just a thought: My lack of interest in music will probably get me a few weird stares, which over the years I learn to not care about. But how about those whose preferences may be a little more controversial?
Interest in tattoos and body piercings?
The different preference for sexual partners? Homosexuals?
Again, I'm not talking (writing actually) about whether it is right or wrong... But why discriminate? Who are we to judge others for their preference?
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