2015 - How are you? (Part 2)

Part 1 is about the better days, but there were also days when I'm at my lowest... Can anything good come out from that?

In the down...
After the tears, after the days of not being able to get out of bed, after shutting myself in darkness, what is next? I couldn't hide here forever... Though it is more comfortable being alone, there are expectations out there. People! Yes, lots of people with different opinion, different intention, and different expectation around. Some meant well, many others only wanted things done.

When that slight moment of courage come, I kicked myself out of bed. I rushed for a long shower (Yes, those are little achievements for me). I say a little prayer, I sing a little worship song, I try.

Then I realise...
Lesson #2 - When something is scarce, it becomes precious.
As a child, I kept the best food for last... Like the egg in a packet of nasi leak.
I savour the last few mouth of my ice cream much slower than the first few.
I munch much slower when it is the last piece of biscuit in the pack.

When there is little to look forward to, I realise how precious God is. When there is  no more achievement to boast about, when the future is dim, it hits me that I need to cling on tighter to God. God became more precious, He became someone I could not afford to lose. It may still be silent, but I could not let go of Him. I became desperately dependant on God. 

Desperate - Yes, I am... 
Dependant - I couldn't on my own.