2015 - How are you? (Part 1)

Over the years, I realise 'How are you?' has turned into a greeting without really expecting an answer... When we ask 'How are you?", the standard answer would have been "Errr.. ok" or something similar... Probably we don't want to bore others with our sad story... Maybe, we have experienced people repeating their problems over and over again when we asked the question ("Not again! Arghh" - I'm guilty of that too), and "ok" seems like a better answer.

Is everyone really "ok"?

Personally, 2015 hasn't been anywhere close to "ok" for me...
It seems like I'm in a battle that doesn't seem to end... Trying, tried and probably on the verge of giving up.

Almost like a battle with an illness that doesn't seem to be able to get better... You prayed, you seen the doctor, you ate the medicine, you watch you diet... And there is a slight improvement, before it all start to go down hill again... Then you repeat the cycle: You prayed, you seen the doctor, you ate the medicine, you watch you diet. And there is a slight improvement, before it all start to go down hill again... And the cycle goes on over and over and over again...

Well, it's not always down... There were days that are happier, filled with more hope, with a sense of "Maybe I can make it in life"... Some days were faith, most others are probably a denial of the problem, and simply trying to escape. That's one very fine line in between. When is confessing the promises of God considered faith? And when is it then an escape from the reality?

But even a false sense of hope and happiness is better than a dark room with more gloom and doom. The former at least I can get out of bed and try to continue living.

Lesson #1 - Whenever there is a chance to laugh, laugh it out! 
I value the days I can smile and laugh even at the smallest thing. I learn to set aside time to do things that I like, even if those things don't produce the result that the society would deem productive!

At times, "OK" is a better answer... At least, I need not explain myself... At least, it meant I'm still trying to live, trying to make it work.