What A Day!

Woke up early this morning... By my definition, 'early' on a no-class/work day is 8.30AM... That's really really early for me. Had my breakfast... Cereal and milk (WOW!!!) Haha... That's exactly how rare it was... And I'm all set to start reading journal and work on my assignment.

And that was exactly all that went right this morning. After that, all hell broke loose! Literally, all hell broke loose. And yea, I mean a prison-break in hell... My laptop decided not to start. It happened a few times in the past few days... Laptop can't start and have to go through the Start-Up wizard and stuff... But all those times, it did start after a few rounds of that... But today, it decided to not start at all... Hell!!! Exactly! My assignment stuffs, work, ministry, EVERYTHING is in my laptop. And my laptop is only going to turn three in August... My heart literally broke, cracked and torn into pieces. 

Still remember that I woke up at 8.30? It's supposed to be a fruitful day on which I am supposed to finish my PSY 113 assignment, and get ready for a group discussion the next day. But by noon time, I still couldn't start my laptop. And by then, every fiber of enthusiasm on my assignment was gone, and replaced with frustration and anger. Life with no laptop is hell of a time... Did Sudoku, read books, etc., but nothing works cause my mind was fixed on my laptop. Btw, an interesting discovery, I solve Sudoku puzzles faster when I'm angry/ aggressive. Weird! I think it's a good anger management method... At the end, you couldn't decide which is more frustrating; the initial source of anger, or the Sudoku puzzles that you couldn't solve.

Well, the whole point of this post is not to tell you my amazing discovery of my Sudoku skill or how my life sucks. But rather, this special day is the day I spend so much more time reading my Bible and pray. Desperate is the word. Read Psalms trying to remind myself God is still good. Prayed so hard cause I really have no idea how am I going to go through this. A whole load of deadlines to meet in the coming one week. I was really desperate. Locked myself in the room, and today is special, not cause I receive an amazing miracle, or my laptop was miraculously healed. My laptop is still unable to turn on, but beyond that today is special cause He  is my comforter, and He is here when I hit the dead end. Psalm 139 is my comfort, and strength to climb up. 

And that's the beginning of me swimming to the surface of the raging storm... And amazingly after that, my leader called. Funny how some people never give up on me when I couldn't be bothered anymore. And that's the beginning of solution/ options coming in one after another... 

And here I am, typing this on my housemate's laptop as she's out working. She has graciously loan me her laptop that I can do my assignment. It's gonna be a sleepless night catching up on what I miss in the day. But I am grateful. Nothing has been wasted. An experience with Him is worth far more than my sleep. How wonderful is His way.

Psalm 139

For the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.

 ¹ O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
 ² You know my sitting down and my rising up;
         You understand my thought afar off.
 ³ You comprehend my path and my lying down,
         And are acquainted with all my ways.
 ⁴ For there is not a word on my tongue,
         But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
 ⁵ You have hedged me behind and before,
         And laid Your hand upon me.
 ⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
         It is high, I cannot attain it.
       
 ⁷ Where can I go from Your Spirit?
         Or where can I flee from Your presence?
 ⁸ If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
         If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
 ⁹ If I take the wings of the morning,
         And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
 ¹⁰ Even there Your hand shall lead me,
         And Your right hand shall hold me.
 ¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
         Even the night shall be light about me;
 ¹² Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
         But the night shines as the day;
         The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
       
 ¹³ For You formed my inward parts;

         You covered me in my mother’s womb.
 ¹⁴ I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
         Marvelous are Your works,
         And that my soul knows very well.
 ¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You,
         When I was made in secret,
         And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
 ¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
         And in Your book they all were written,
         The days fashioned for me,
         When as yet there were none of them.
       
 ¹⁷ How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
         How great is the sum of them!
 ¹⁸ If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
         When I awake, I am still with You.
       
 ¹⁹ Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
         Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
 ²⁰ For they speak against You wickedly;
         Your enemies take Your name in vain.
 ²¹ Do I not hate them, O LORD, who hate You?
         And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
 ²² I hate them with perfect hatred;
         I count them my enemies.
       
 ²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
         Try me, and know my anxieties;
 ²⁴ And see if there is any wicked way in me,
         And lead me in the way everlasting.