Journey

My 8a.m. class journey... 

The journey starts at 6.15 when everything is quiet and dark... Thank God for street lights and my tiny little torch light... Walking as quickly as possible, and at the same time being very aware of my surrounding... I pass by this little forest look-a-like...
** Is there anyone around?

** Are there any motorcycle hiding behind the corner?

** Could there be a snake coming out of the bush?

Holding on tightly to my pepper spray on one hand and a torch light on another.... And having a blade at the side pocket of my bag that I could easily reach... Every sound makes my heart beats faster... Insects making music... Sounds from cars and motorcycles passing by... That five minutes walk to the bus stop feels like how Jae-Seok (from Running Man) would have felt after a close escape during their hide-and-seek challenge... "Feels like my life is shorten by 10 years"... [exaggerated]

Haha...

Was thinking of that experience... and these verses came...

Psalm 119:105 - You word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path...

John 14:6 - Jesus say "I am the way, the truth and the life"

The journey doesn't really matter if you know for sure the destination... Many months ago, I wander what would I do if I am faced with BIG challenges... Will I still hold on to my faith? I doubted... Maybe I should just lay low and avoid being the target of the devil... Maybe... But on the other hand, God hates lukewarm Christian... How le?

Thankfully, God being a faithful God reminded me of the destination... The assurance of the destination in Christ changes the scenario... A woman in labor can endure the pain of giving birth, knowing the destination -  a child brought forth to the world. Similarly, the journey doesn't matter as much if the destination is fixed. And what better destination is there, other than the destination in Christ? :)

Staying UP

It is always good to have breakthroughs in life... That 'all-things-are-possible' feeling is amazing! But one week has gone by... And another week past by... That feeling is slowly slipping away... The 'WOW' effect is no longer as strong as day one...

Now, there are 2 options:

Option 1: Get back to life as how it used to be as if nothing happened...
Or...
Option 2: Fight on, continuously hold on to His promise and never let go.

Option 1 is an easier option... No need to fight... I can bare with that... After all, I used to be there before...
But, option 2 is one which will see change... Uncomfortable, feeling out of place, tedious, but the result is often better.

I decided I'm gonna stick with option 2... HE has done so much for me, and I'm not gonna let it go down the drain just because I wanted an easier path.

Little Destiny Zoe Oh and her family taught me this important lesson today: To fight on till the very end regardless of circumstances! This warrior princess strive hard just to breathe... I can definitely do more with the life that I have.

Newness...

Initially, it felt like I have lost a lot...

But in just one week plus, I have received much more than what I've lost.
The physical things...
The documents...
The friendship...
The love...
The care...

... is so much more that what is taken away from me. And above all that, I have deeper relationship with the God of POWER, the God of LOVE, and the God of SOUND MIND.

 The negative, God has turn it into the positive for me... A new learning curve, a new way of seeing things, a new trust in Him, a new level of faith, and a new hope in Him :)

Reviving the blog...

At least till my semester reopen...

Personally, one of the best way to express my thoughts is through writing. I'm not some super writer who have impressive vocabulary, or the best sentence structure, or even the most organized flow of thoughts... But, writing helps me see things in the right perspective.

Write... Write... Write...

Well, if you have not known, I pick up the basic to Photoshop during the past semester. It was rewarding to see my artwork printed, and even more rewarding to know that I have pick up a new skill during the semester... So, the question now is 'What's next?'

More creative design stuff? Hmmm... Or should I take up some art and craft? Card making? Origami? Or something cooler like latte art? Afterall, I love coffee... And it will be nice to not just enjoy coffee but make beautiful looking coffee... Or maybe I should just pick up martial art simply to give me that sense of security? Hmmm...

I really have no idea... But let's see...

Till then, chao :)

In one day...

It was supposed to be my last day of exam...
It was supposed to be a day of celebration after a long 2 weeks of ups and downs...
It was supposed to be FREEDOM!

BUT...
Things doesn't always go my way...
With one hour of nap, I prepared and left home for my last paper for the semester...
And my bag was snatched meters away from home by guys on 4 motorcycles...
My spectacles was missing the struggle... I am as good as blind.
My mobile phone + keys + wallet were all taken together with the bag... I have nothing left.

Stranded. Alone. In shock.
And till now, everytime I close my eyes, I can see the whole incident playback in front of me.
I have no idea whether will I even be able to walk on that alley again. Or how am I going to uni when the semester starts.

BUT...
Through this, I know I've made some of the most amazing friends here in CHCKL... Facebook messages, emails, tweets flooded my comp, offering help even before I mention what happened. And I can't express how #grateful I am to have them. They came to rescue me, they drove me to the police station, to the hospital, pay for everything, lend me money... That is just to name a few... Thank you, my friends... What would I do without you all...

Through this, I learn the meaning of the sacrifice of praise. How tough it was to still offer up praise in the midst of all the pain and lost... In the Bible was a man named Job, who everything he had was taken away from him in just 1 day, and the first thing he did was to stop everything and worship God (Job 1:20-21). Well, I wish I could say I did just that, but it wasn't. I struggled. Fear is just everywhere... But slowly, fear turn into worship. It was probably the toughest worship ever! It was all worth it to know that I didn't bow down to the devil and be upset with God. #grateful

Through this, I appreciate my family more... My dad took off from work, drove all the way from JB-KL with my mum to see h ow I am and help solve some of the problems. They drove me to uni to summit the police report, replace my specs, replace my SIM card, and make arrangement to try to replace everything which was taken away from me... As if that is not enough, they drove me back from KL-JB on the same day, make my bed, prepare everything so I am comfortable eventhough they are really tired. And how could I not mention my brother who called, and called and called to make sure I'm OK... Thank you. #grateful

Through this, I can't thank God enough for his protection. If my earthly father would do all that for me, how much more my heavenly Father (Matthew 7:9-11). What could have happened if it is not for His hands which guards over me... Thank You, Abba Father...

When things don't turn out the way it should be...

I HATE IT!!!

It robs my sleep... I'm restless, I am tired, I am frustrated, I am annoyed, I can't focus.
I felt like quitting.

Nothing seems to work.

BUT....

He is Faithful.

He loves.

He cares.

He says "I can".

He encourages.

He never quit.

For that, I keep on going. Thank You, Daddy God :')

If I have lots and lots and lots of money...

This would be my dream house:

A three story bungalow by the seaside... With a roof top infinity pool, and a helipad... 

All fully designed by myself (but for now, it shall be pictures taken everywhere from Google ;p)

-> Different corners of the living room...

-> For the bedrooms

-> The study room

-> The changing room

-> Storage space

-> Cafe / bar

That's all for now... Remember, it is an "IF" post... But how I wish...

P/s: In a day night-dreaming mode... So ignore me, and let me dream! And it's 3.20AM... Oops... I should really be dreaming now...

Random Morning :p

I have been awake since 4AM to have one last look at my presentation stuff... Fingers crossed that I won't screw up later....

Well, here's my first attempt blogging from a public bus...

Morning peeps :) Yeah, I'm random! ;p

My idea of cute guys :D

No. 3 in my list:

No. 2:

And my fav:

Summary: I like weird guys :P

Adding on...
Miss one from the list...
(I just love that feather like thing in his hair :p)

Mummy, I love U :)

I just finish watching Freaky Friday for one of my Psych assignment stuff...

'My mum is the strictest mum of all!', '
'She has no life!'
'I can't go out with my friends'
'She don't understand me!'

Well, those are the common 'complaints' we made of our mum... Yea, I am guilty as well... Sometimes we don't understand each other... Sometimes we get on each other's nerve. And sometimes, we argue.

But, one thing remain:
She is my mum. And I love her.

I recalled what my Pastor once said: Mothers used to be daughters before. They used to be cool and happening before they have us. They don't nag before they have us.

So yeah, my mum is my mum, and none can take her place. She is special, and I love her :)

Gong Xi, Gong Xi!!!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's the time of the year where we Chinese look out for... Ang pows, new clothes, pineapple tarts, butter cookies, steamboats, steam fish, pork, etc, etc...

This year, I am looking forward to this Festive season as usual... But it's gonna be different for my family and I... We will be spending it at my home... JOHOR BAHRU!!!!!!!! Yes, I'm from Jay Bee... But usually we spend it somewhere else... So this CNY will be our family moments. Since moving out to study, it always feel good to be H.O.M.E..

CNY is more than all those glorious food and big red packets mentioned earlier. It's a family moment! This festive season, remember our family (sounds like some Petronas ads) :)

And here's an Eu Yan Sang's ad that warms my heart:

And of course, how can CNY be without some CNY songs:

Gong Xi, Gong Xi to all my family and friends!!!

Darkness vs. Light

I believe everyone has their own fear, and maybe even fears.

Fear Factor sees individuals fighting with their own fear to earn themselves a prize. Eating weird food, jumping of high places, sitting in tanks of insects and reptiles... Often I ask, is it all worth it? Will you do it?

My answer: NO!!! I am very sure I will not do it... It's cool watching other people going through those fearsome experience, but I will not want to be the one in their shoes... Well, the prize is great, but not enough to get me anywhere close to wanting to try it.

Fear Factor don't just happen on TV. It happens in our everyday lives also... Maybe not physically having to go through those situations, but everyday, fear will stare at our face... In our decision making, in our self esteem, in our relationships, in our finances... Basically, EVERYTHING! Those physical fear, we can try to avoid them. But there are many other fears which we can't run away from. And being a prisoner of fear is definitely NOT fun.

But I am thankful to have a God who loves me, and have given me the weapon to come out of the prison of fear. He is the Light and all darkness will be cast out when He is present... I am learning to walk out of the prison of fear into His light.

Mandarin and me... When the song turns into worship...

I guess not many people know that I can't read and write Mandarin until I tell them so... Well, I must say I am thankful to be able to speak Mandarin at least... Though, I must admit how I dreaded Mandarin classes since I was young...

Mandarin class experience for me was BAD! Till today, all I remembered from my extra Mandarin classes were getting whack on my hands for the mistakes from some spelling test equivalent. And if I remembered correctly, I would cry and wail (exaggerated) in class, developing a total hatred for the teacher... Totally dreaded class... Plus they were EXTRA class.

And since then, I have never been interested in picking up the language... The only time I would use it is with my relatives...  And I pride myself being brought up in an English family. Never really understood why Chinese school students are forced to memorize phrases or even the entire essays... Or the bucket loads of homework... Back then, I will just laugh them off, thinking that that must be the worst way of studying languages.

Well, things change when I enter secondary school... I sat next to a Chinese Ed student... Came in class, and the first time she spoke to me was in Mandarin... Oh no!!!!!!!! I thought I was doomed... But as I get to know her, I was amazed that she is also good in Malay and English!!!!  Her mum is a BM lecturer, and her English was flawless... That was when, those stereotype that I build since young starts to collapse. I started speaking Mandarin occasionally... And I guess that has contributed to my Mandarin today... Not something that anyone should be proud of, but definitely something I will be grateful to have.

So, why this random post? 
It is because I just came back from a CNY CG which was conducted all in Chinese... It was tough... Leading Worship in English was OK, but when it needs to be done in Mandarin, it was super duper hard. First, I need to depend on my best friend Google Translate to help me come up with Han Yu Pin Yin... Then listen to the song over and over again... And yet not able to memorize the lyrics... Next, I need to deliberately force myself to memorize the lyrics, though I don't quiet understand half of it... And at last, I need to gather every fiber of courage within me and speak it out (hoping that I don't embarrass myself along the way). The last step has got to be the hardest... Was debating within myself whether should I say something? Or should I just keep quiet?

But thankfully, it was over... Wouldn't say that it was my best Worship leading, but definitely grateful to God for showing up (even though I kinda screwed up in the beginning with so much going in my head). Learnt the most important lesson in Worship... It's not about our ability in singing, or our voice, etc... But the attitude of our heart. Worship is the condition of our heart. When we reached chorus, when we sang 'Shen shen ai Ni Yesu, Shen shen ai Ni Yesu, Wo ai Ni chaoyue sheng ming chong yiqie', that was it! Not the Chinese which I am not familiar with, but rather me singing with all my heart that I love Him, and I love Him, and I love Him. That was when the song turns into worship.

... That was when the song turns into worship :)

The Drama Addict in Me

Yeah... It's me again :)
Well, I am in the mood for writing, I write... After all, it's my blog... And I can do whatever I want with it (as long it stays within the boundary of the law) ;p

Was asked this question in one of those self intro thingy in a new class: What is your hobby?

It used to be easy -> SLEEP!
However, in the pass few years, I somehow discover that it's not really the thing I wanted to do... So after a few years, this question comes out again today...

And my answer...

Watch drama series!!! Yes!!! It's what I LOVE to do!!!
- NCIS, CSI (NY, Miami, Las Vegas), Criminal Minds, Nikita, Lie To Me, ...
- Grey's Anatomy, House, ...
- Glee, ...
- Masterchef, Junior Masterchef, ...
- The Amazing Race, Survivor, ...
- American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, ...

Yesss!!! That's a good gauge on how many series I am following at the moment... And yea, I follow them on a weekly basis... Or whenever they are out, I will watch them!!! Haha... And, I am one proud addict :D

Wander why the list consists of all English series?
I'm not against Taiwanese or Hong Kong drama series... It's simply because I can't read Chinese and have 0% knowledge on Cantonese... Else, I would have added in Forensic Heroes into the list... So if you read this, and know where can I get an English subbed version of it, do let me know. You will be very much loved and appreciated ;p

Breathe in, breathe out...

Life can be pretty nerve wracking at time...
People can annoy you, and you can be frustrated at yourself.

Between the two, the latter is the tougher one. It challenges you. You doubt your own talent and gifts... You question your purpose and your intention for doing something. Occasionally, you try your best to push the blame on others, and sometimes, you simply break down and Que Sera Sera, whatever will be, will be.

And this sort of stuff don't just happen once a day... It happens all the time...

My way out is to breathe in and breathe out... Maybe whatever will be, will be... But, the fact that I am still breathing means it's not over yet... And for that, I live :)

Taken from http://cottontreeherald.com/419/breathe-out-first

A Verse that Change My Life

2 Corinthians 13:5 (TLB)
Check up on yourselves. Are you really Christians? Do you pass the test? Do you feel Christ's presence and power more and more within you? Or are you just pretending to be Christians when actually you aren't at all?

2012 - I know I want more and more and more of Your presence and power.

A Day to Remember - 060112

Today is the day...

God, I am sure I love You more than I ever did before...
And I am sure of how You have always love me.
You never fail to turn up.
In fact, You have always been there...
Always...

Your presence is overwhelming.
You make me want more of You.
You assure me every moment that You are with me.
I love You, and I love You and I love You...
More today than I ever did before.

Thank You, Daddy God :)