Why I moved to Malaysia — An American

Great piece of article taken from the Malaysian Insider... But what I found to be disappointing was the comments... Comments agreeing with this Mat Salleh have negative 'Like' scores, and comments against him have high 'Like' scores.

What's your problem, people?!?! We all know Malaysia is far from being a perfect country... But can't we just celebrate what we have, rather then what we do not have? Even an American can see how special our country is, but we as Malaysian couldn't see it? Ouch!!

My stand: Malaysia is not perfect... But I love my country and am proud to be a Malaysian. This is my home, and it will always be :)

Why I moved to Malaysia — An American

May 27, 2011

MAY 27 — An overwhelming wave of civic negativity is sweeping through Malaysia; not a day has gone by for the past two-and-a-half years without one hearing the drums of depression beating throughout the country.

And while the ranks of rejectionists swell, a small but increasingly loud group of people are barking back about the greatness, exclusivity and perfection of Malaysia.

It seems that in the midst of this civic recession and polarisation (a temporary and short-lived one, I hope) the media has failed to highlight the vast middle ground: the real Malaysia.

From my limited exposure to Malaysia, I have found the fabric of the country to be extremely resilient. Countless Malaysians courageously wake up every morning, enduring horrendous traffic jams to attend to their professional obligations in a timely manner.

Countless other Malaysians are also quietly but patiently laying down the building blocks of a vibrant civil society by setting up community grass-roots initiatives: neighbourhoods jointly working with the police force to ensure a safe environment, Malaysian youth congregating online in order to debate critical issues pertaining to Malaysia’s economy, society and well-being.

Hardworking Malaysians taking up one, two or even three jobs in order to cough up cash for their stacking bills and to keep up with an increasingly material and expensive life-style.

Malaysia rocked my 90s when the country used to make it to the forefront of each and every global newspaper and media outlet (for good reasons). I still remember my geography high-school classes when we intensively discussed the rise of Asia and Malaysia was constantly cited as an example.

Having spent my high-school years in France, a deeply socialist-minded country, my classmates and teachers were intent on seeing new countries challenge the crushing hegemony of the United States in the post-Cold War era we lived in.

My friends and I dived deep into Malaysia’s economic data making projections in order to forecast when and how Malaysia and Asean could become a global economic and geopolitical powerhouse.

The French — and Europeans — (at least on a student level) were in admiration of Malaysia’s leadership of the Non-Aligned Movement. My friends and I dreamt of being part of a country that aspired to change the status quo of the time: provide stability, wealth and services to its people but also striving to become the voice of a “third world”, then mired in poverty and desperation.

This was the Malaysia I knew. And the Malaysia I wanted to be part of. Be part of a success story. Not merely ride on one. But build with one.

And here I am, eight years later, working in Malaysia for a Malaysian company.

By the time I packed my bags and left the United States, I had become a lifeless robot dragging along an empty soul. I barely survived through an educational system which systematically upheld the value of success in a very superficial and materialistic way.

Malaysia was a wake-up call. Wandering through the streets of KL, I finally saw happy people, smiling and congregating around a drink as simple as “teh tarik”. Poor, rich, yellow, white and black, irrespective of any human denominator, entering their mosques, temples and churches to thank the Lord for, in the end, less material “blessings” than their Western counterparts. Outstanding!

Walking in the park and seeing families — mother, father, brother and sister — hand-in-hand enjoying a colourful weekend was a fantastic sight to behold. Hearing the call to prayer every early-morning, echoing through a sleepy Kuala Lumpur provided me with the conviction that Malaysia was a place where people would not surrender as easily to the endless and lifeless quest for consumerism.

My Muslim, Buddhist and Christian Malaysian friends sometimes excuse themselves from late dinners because they have to be back home signifying the sanctity of family and respect.

So as the debate over Malaysia’s future, economy, society and politics rages on, I urge all my Malaysian friends to take a step back and relax (just for a little, though). The little a humble French-American can share with Malaysia is that the defining platform for Malaysia’s success will ultimately be cemented in respect, love, simplicity and smiles.

Wander around your neighbourhood, help the elderly and needy. Give your seat to the disabled. Touch the burning forehead of an orphan, sympathise with his/her pain and give whatever you can give. And only then will you feel the soft and enchanting pulse of Malaysia: a place of contradictions, yes, but also a treasure for those who love simple things.

I love my Proton Persona because it’s a humble car that doesn’t pretend to be something it’s not. I love my “roti canai” because its bland taste is what makes it so wonderful. And I love my P. Ramlee songs because they constantly remind me that the fabric of this country, in essence, is one of peace, respect and modesty.

Do not be carried away by non-verified facts and emotions. I hear swirling statements about Bangkok and Jakarta being a better place to live than Kuala Lumpur. Or maybe Malaysians enjoy two- to three-hour commutes in Jakarta traffic?

Or maybe Malaysian families enjoy exposing their children to Bangkok’s blinding prostitution and decadent nightlife? If Bangkok is such a good place to live in then surely, Kuala Lumpur must be the seventh heaven. Let’s stay realistic and factual, friends.

I have seen countless Malay, Chinese, Indian and indigenous Malaysians thrive in the Malaysian corporate world. But none of us can expect fulfilling our ambitions, both professional and familial, without sweat, sacrifice, hard work and most importantly integrity, honesty and diplomacy.

I will always be thankful to Malaysia for teaching me what I believe to be life’s most valued motto: most of the time a lot is not enough, but little suffices. And Malaysia is a heaven for life’s most cherished yet basic moments: family, diversity, spirituality and affordable happiness.

Just be yourself, Malaysia!

* We asked readers to tell us in their own words why they stayed in Malaysia... instead of migrating. This is one of the stories.

Have you ever noticed that we live in a very colourful country?

Have you ever noticed that we live in a very colourful country?  

Well, it wasn't until last year that I actually realise how rich our culture was... My trip to Bali, Indonesia was actually the eye-opener for me... It wasn't that I didn't know Malaysia has many different ethnic groups with different cultures. But as what many would have heard 'the grass is always greener on the other side'.

Being a tourist in Bali, I took pictures of many different places... I go 'ooh' at the beautiful beaches... And I was 'wah'-ing at all the talented craftmen... Colourful paintings are seen on the walkway of different streets, beautiful sculptures made of wood and metal also... As a typical tourist, I visited the batik painting place and the silver jewelery makers... Also not forgetting the colourful temples. 

But the whole point that I want to bring out is...  

All these are actually available in Malaysia too!!! Maybe not exactly the same, but we have amazing beaches and different cultures as well... We have the all red chinese new year, the green Hari Raya, and the colourful Deepavali... 

One of my favourite sight in Bali was actually the colourful shops selling paintings. They are bright and cheerful looking... Let me share with you what I discovered lately... The Indian streets and Hindu temples in KL are just as colourful... Look at their sari (Indian traditional costume for the women)... It's usually in bright colours as well! 

It took me a trip away from home to realize it... Far too often we criticise people of different race from us... Someone took our parking spot, and we say 'See the Malay people!' Or whatever race group they are from... We smell the Jasmine flower (those white little flowers) used by the Indian and we comment on how we don't like the smell and so on... I myself am guilty of this sometimes... Body odour or cutting queue or stealing has nothing to do with race! Stop discriminating a certain race based on bad habits by a certain individual or a group of individuals.  

While tourists to our country are enjoying the diversity of cultures, shouldn't we as Malaysian celebrate it as well?  

I put on a new pair of glasses after coming back from Bali... And beyond seeing the different skin colours, I saw the different cultures. We hold the choice in our own hands. Which glasses are we putting on? What are we deciding to focus on? It's all in our own hand.

Who moved my cheese?

Discussed about this in class today... The beginning of personal learning and growth starts with change. And how do people response to change can clearly be seen in Dr. Spencer Johnson's book 'Who Moved my Cheese'. Four characters with four different responses to change... Sniff, Scurry, Hem and Haw.

Well, if you haven't read this book yet, you should read it... It's a quick and easy read... I took 1.5 hours to finish it. And would say that it's worth every minute of it. The pdf format is available here.

Read, and reflect about your response to change... I think I'm more of a "Haw"... I take quite a long time to get out of my "old cheese" and move on to my "new cheese". Reluctant at first, but when I am no longer afraid, I will progress to my "new cheese". So, I got to "smell my cheese" more often so that I know it has gone "old" and I can find my "new cheese" :D

Picture from: http://www.isabelperez.com/activities/cheese_summary.pdf

How Do You Detect a Person Who is Lying?

Well, heard this interesting piece of info from the session earlier today... Is the scene from CSI or NCIS questioning a suspect true? Or simply based on the intuition?


Here's what I found from this interesting site.

Myths on lying:

1. People don't actually fidget and look away when they're lying. Even some police forces still have this in the manual even though it's just plain wrong.
2. Even classic highly researched signs of lying are not that good. Less blinking, more pauses in talking, vocal tension, pupil dilation, chin raise and nervousness don't consistently (across different people) mean someone is lying.
3. It may be particularly difficult to detect lies in close friends or partners as we have come to trust them and don't expect them to lie to us.

How to detect lie?

1. Individual differences are key. Some people's natural behaviour looks honest while others' natural behaviour doesn't. This won't tell you whether each is lying. E.g. introverts or socially nervous people tend to look as though they're lying when they're not. The way to do it is using comparisons. It's possible to spot falsehoods when they are compared with truthful statements.
2. Micro-expressions. Good lie detectors can pick up on tiny facial movements that give away lies. The problem is that they're 'micro' so they're difficult to detect.
3. Vocal inflection can be vital. There's evidence it's easier to detect lies just from the voice. The eyes are relatively easy to control and it can be better if we can't see them.
4. Rely on intuition. People may be better at detecting lies with their intuition. Implicit or broadly unconscious processes can be more effective than conscious directed thought.
5. Lying is hard work. Lying can place high cognitive demands on an individual - putting more pressure on a suspected liar can help with detection.

So yeah, the next time you spot someone acting fidgety when talking to you... Maybe he/she is just nervous about talking to you... Or maybe he/she is rushing for time? Or simply he/she needs to go to the loo ;p  

Psychology - Why?

I shall post a short note which I believe is going to remind me someday of why I choose psychology, and why I should keep on keeping on.

1. Cause I believe I have the potential to impact life. And psychology will give me a better understanding of human behavior and response to a certain situation.With such knowledge, I will be further equipped to understand and help improve the living condition of many people.

2.  Because I'm curious on why different things give different response... For example, Justin Bieber. Why most people (or at least me) don't like him? Or why are the high schoolers going crazy about him? And Rebecca Black... Friday? Why would so many people view her Youtube clip even though the song is annoying?

3. Because I enjoy analyzing data/results from a specific study. Spreadsheets after spreadsheets of data makes me happy... Seeing the result of a particular study and knowing that the result is able to bring change to the society is even better.

4. Cause I'm still holding on to a little new dream of mine to get a master in Criminal Psychology. A line of study that I'm excited and curious to find out more... And I believe it's a really good reason to keep me going cause most master student pursuing a specific course like this are on scholarship... And they are usually abroad and cost a bomb! And yeah, it's the closest that I would get to Forensic Science (which my mum dreaded and would not approve).

And my first day of orientation here in Help... Hmmm... Nothing much to brag about. But I love the down-to-earth spirit in the lecturers. Orientation as per usual has lots of talking by different people. But, I'm motivated and encouraged to start the course!

Well, this degree is for me... Not something that I'm doing to live up to some other people expectation, or something to please people. It's for me! First class honor is mine! And this course is not just something I do cause I need a qualification. But rather, my mindset is shifted today. This process of learning is one that will make a difference to the society that I am in. I am going to be a world class psychologist making a difference to the world!

P/s: You can tell how much I wanted this... At last, it's something for myself (not the people around me). Cheers!